Top mop moments
by Magicamq
Summary: <html><head></head>The best mop moments and weird chases concerning Kaito and Aoko. Just read if you want to laugh.</html>
1. Mop fight?

**So this is mop moment number one, read it and tell me what you think; to be honest I do not consider myself a comical person and I write kind of weird. I hope you like it. By the way, I see lots of fanfics saying things like " Detective Conan is not mine, is Gosho Aoyama´s magnificent creation, but if I was the owner I..." , so I´ll write this myself:**

**Detective Conan belongs to Gosho Aoyama, I just like to play with his fabulous characters, so please don´t sue me!. **

**Any relation to name or place is just mere coincidence.**

Kaito was feeling somewhat perturbed by the sight before him, really, what was happening was so crazy and _childish_- for Kaito to think that it _must_ be something extreme- that it was becoming impossible for him to show his classmates his ingenious artworks,supposedly that´s how pull a prank is called now, at least that´s what Kaito tells Aoko.

"What a bunch of bakas", Kaito said to himself with an annoyed expression on his face; the teenager was bored and, surprisingly still, seated on his desk and sighing as if he was a mature and quiet teenager, which, we know he isn´t.

"That´s a rude statement Kuroba-kun, you should watch your words", Hakuba Saguru appeared of seemingly nowhere with his trademark smirk holding a cup of tea which Kaito slightly wondered where he got it from and frowned, the brit was invading his personal space, again.

"It´s a _fact, _I mean, look at _that_", Kaito stressed the words and quickly signaled two of his classmates who were…are they playing with those glowing swords of the American movie Star Wars? The teenagers were grinning like elementary kids in a sugar rush making "zzzzmmm" sounds and waving at each other glowing swords, it kind of looked weird.

"Listen Kuroba, if I were to behave like yourself I would make even more rude remarks about your childish conduct, but I don´t, why? Because…", it seems that Hakuba didn´t care at all about the game in front of him, and kept on ranting about the importance of keeping such thoughts to oneself and respecting the others as he respects Kuroba, of course our favorite magician and thief (don´t tell that to Hakuba) was not paying any attention at all, why listen to a British with perfect Japanese that goes around disguised as Sherlock Holmes, obviously playing detective, that has a trauma with a supreme thief and artist while having a hawk on his shoulder?

That´s _not_ normal.

"…politeness is a virtue Kuroba, one which you can get with effort and a proper behavior." The detective finished his sermon and grinned to himself proudly, but, if you looked at Kuroba Kaito, you would realize that there isn´t anything to be proud of, the boy looked quite irritated. If Hakuba is oblivious to this fact, that is another mystery to solve (Oh! Oh! I want Hattori Heiji to solve it, that would be awesome!)

"Hakuba-kun, may I ask you something, _please_", Kaito stressed the last word with a wicked and strained smile, yet, it seems that Hakuba didn´t notice. Again.

"Of course, Kuroba-kun", Hakuba agreed pleasantly as if saying "_see, being polite isn´t hard at all"_.

"Why the hell do you always have to use way too many words to say something!", screamed Kaito not so politely while he stands up and faces the snobby and , polite please, British. Suddenly, Kaito feels that something wet is being aimed at his head and ducks just to see that the weapon is a mop.

The mop chase began.

"Kaito, you baka! You can´t shout at people at that!", Nakamori Aoko was chasing Kuroba Kaito holding a mop trying to hit him, but instead, she hit the wall making a big crack on it leaving many of the students nearby really afraid of their own wellbeing.

"I can say whatever I want Ahoko!".(See chapter 2 of Volume 1).

"What did you say Bakaito!"

"That white suits you better than pink"

"The color of my underwear does not concern you!"

"Now you're talking like Hakuba, and who said I was referring to your underwear? I _meant_ your _face"_

"…"

"Which looks better in pink that in red…still, red is better than,…that color you have"

Both teenagers were running around the classroom, Aoko swinging _her_ mop and Kaito bouncing, literally, around the classroom. Meanwhile, the rest of the students, except Hakuba-kun, those weird glowing swords guys and Akako, were, if not hiding, then…hiding?

As Kaito ducked another of Aoko´s mop-attacks he saw a mop, alone, standing there in the solitude of a corner and emitting a sad aura while drowning itself on a small puddle of water. Kaito, as the sensitive being he is could hear the mop begging _"Please, Kaito, please, use me to cease Aoko´s mop attack of doom and evil"_, well, Kaito couldn´t leave the mop there begging him, could he?

So, Kuroba Kaito, as the hero he pretended to be, with lots of skill and bravery grabbed the mop and held it strongly feeling all its mop power flowing through his body, entering his skin and corpuscules (Meissner is my favorite), flowing through his blood vessels and slowly filling his heart, and eventually his whole body. Oh!, he could see Aoko´s face turning from shock to a daring one, the duel is about to start.

Both teenagers held their mops as life depended on it and took their stances preparing to attack, they charged with strength and courage and began a mop fight. Aoko swings her mop, Kaito blocks it, Kaito swings his mop towards Aoko´s skirt to see her panties, Aoko blocks it skillfully. Really, if what they were holding weren´t mops, people would think they were having a sword fight…without swords.

The battle was intense, and there was sweat and blood (not really, I just wanted to be more dramatic), courage and shame, every time the mops touched a belic anthem echoed throughout the arena (Classroom!), failure was not an option and skill was a must.

The teenagers that were playing Star Wars stopped their "battle" and looked curiously at Aoko´s and Kaito´s mop fight , the sight before them was crazy and childish to say the least, really, teenagers aiming mops to each other, heck, at least they could have used some glowing swords from an American movie called "Star Wars" like theirs.

"What a bunch of bakas", said the one with the red glowing sword and both students laughed loudly.

Meanwhile, Hakuba, having heard the rude remark said nothing, it wasn´t Kuroba who said it anyway, so what the bother? This time it is not necessary to fill innocent ears with a boring sermon. Besides, watching the scene that Kaito and Aoko were displaying made him think that the boy was a baka, just Kuroba, not Aoko because she was nice to him.

All the while, our favorite witch, Akako, was looking at her reflection on the mirror and twice threw glimpses to the odd duel with mops (she never paid attention to the glowing swords guys) and kept looking at her beautiful self on the mirror.

"I bet he imagined the mop giving him a mission or something like that", said Hakuba after he used his detective powers to figure out Kaito´s sudden decision of battling with a mop. It was an easy deduction, weird classmates sparring with glowing swords, followed by a "what a bunch of bakas", then an interesting sermon from the best and polite detective, which triggers another rude remark (My, my, Hakuba´s heart broke that moment) and a daily mop chase, equals Kuroba hallucinating when seeing a mop on the corner.

_5 minutes later…_

Kaito was on his knees looking sullen and Aoko was laughing with victory written all over her face. What had come to Kaito´s mind to believe that he could defeat Aoko in a mop fight? She had innate mop skills for Kami´s sake!

"_Kaito, you have disappointed me…why Kaito? Why?"_ Kaito could hear the mop´s suffering and after making a brief reflection of the last minutes he concluded "Hakuba was right".

**Ooook, that was all, and really, it was a weird idea, but if it made you laugh, then I´m happy, and if you didn´t laugh and think this is an insult to Gosho Aoyama, I´ll still be happy…I think.**

_**Now, Omake time!**_

**Both Kaito and Aoko are on Kaito´s house.**

**Kaito: Hey, Aoko, let´s watch some TV.**

**Both sit down on the couch and Kaito turns on the TV.**

**Kaito: (mumbling) mmm...what should we watch?**

**Aoko: (sighing) Anything is fine.**

**Kaito:ok, I´ll choose the channel randomly.**

**Kaito chooses the channel randomly, and really , he did choose the channel by mere coincidence. Now, the poor magician is extremely flustered and kind of petrified, and quickly turned off the TV and grabbed a _rosary_ while mumbling something about American culture.**

**Aoko: (in a thinking pose) A mop would have been better than a pole.**

**Kaito turns to see her as if asking "Are on your right mind?" and dropped his rosary.**

**You see folks, Kaito made appear on the screen a girl making a striptease and got the trauma og his life**


	2. Mop strategy

**Woohooo! Mop moment number two, I worked hard for this one, I wanted this to be funny and original, but sometimes creativity isn´t enough... Anyway, read it and review please.**

**Detective Conan is not my property, it belongs to Gosho Aoyama-san.**

Aoko was running as fast as she could, she was extremely late for school and she hasn´t arrived yet! She woke up that morning and almost got a heart attack when she saw the time, she was late for school! ; so Nakamori Aoko dresses herself and almost brushed her hair as she hurried downstairs, she got such a shock when she didn´t see her father reading the newspaper while drinking coffe as he always did. She was so late that her father was long gone to work! _"Miserable father, he goes to work and doesn´t even bother to wake me up"._

Finally, she arrives at the school gates and sees…no one! Oh no! Everyone is already in class! She is _so_ going to hear it from sensei. Making a sprint from the school gates to her classroom, the panicked and tired girl opens the door and apologizes loudly, "I´m sorry for the lateness, I…"

The panicked girl felt a gust of wind and her skirt being flipped followed by a flash of light, taking full view of her surroundings she sees an almost empty classroom and a grinning and-from Aoko´s point of view-stupid Kaito, holding a stupid digital camera.

"Kaaaiiitooo!", Aoko growled furiously stomping her feet and walking towards the magician.

"Ha! Ha! You should have seen the look of your face, it was priceless!" the teenager never stopped laughing, ignoring Aoko´s dark aura.

"I knew you were up to something when you appeared by my doorstep yesterday claiming that you were there to help me with my homework, which, was so easy that I didn´t need any help at all!" the girl was far from composed and her face was distortioned by anger. Now everything seemed to make sense, her father was nowhere in sight because he was still asleep and no one was at the school gates because it was so early in the morning. Oh, Aoko needs her revenge. Now.

While Kaito was laughing like the maniac he is (A/N: Well, he lacks some…things *coughscrewscough*…here and there), something brushed him and soon he saw right before his eyes his stupid digital camera being smashed to pieces; the girl he put a prank on was holding a mop expertly looking dangerous and ready to kill, to say the least. The mop chase began.

"Aoko, don´t blame me, it is _your_ fault for not noticing."

"You´ll pay, and suffer, and rue for this, you $!&¿/*#."

"Pink, isn´t that lovely?"

"Kaaiitoo!"

"Wow, you make my name sound like a curse"

"Die, you stupid magician."

"Well, come and catch me then. I dare you." Kaito smirked and Aoko growled jumping over a desk, how dare he? He is mocking her_! "He´ll pay, suffer and rue for this, just you see Kaito."_

Meanwhile, Kaito has his own thoughts_," Wow, she looks like a girl when she´s mad, oh, and look that rude mouth with those rude lips full of rude remarks…I wonder how they feel…Wait, WHAT?"_,.

By the way, the thought was so disturbing that Kaito froze.

Aoko swung her mop with all her strength expecting Kaito to dodge. Again. That didn´t happen, instead, the mop crashed on Kaito´s chest with full force and he felt to the floor, the swing was so strong that Aoko felt too. Above Kaito. With their faces almost touching. With their eyes locked. Both teenagers saw everything as if time has slowed down and they saw each other faces red with embarrassment, so…they ran away, sat down on their desks and looked at opposite sides.

_Some minutes later…_

"I wonder what´s wrong with them, I mean, they are _not _chasing each other", Keiko mumbled feeling disturbed. Watching both Kaito and Aoko, avoiding each other's faces and without emitting any kind of sound is a panicking scene.

Yet, it seems it wasn´t just Momoi Keiko who wondered why the sudden change of behavior, in fact, everyone else on the classroom was nervous, tense or hiding behind or under their desks, because, who wouldn´t fear for his life if number one prankster/magician and best friend with a short-tempered expert mop wielder was acting as a normal teenager

…Oh Kami!...Someone save us!

_At lunch…_

"You see Nakamori-chan, hawks are intelligent animals, and I must tell you that my Watson is something above the average"

"Wow, that´s really cool Hakuba-kun"

Hakuba Saguru and Nakamori Aoko were having a nice conversation, meanwhile, Kaito is bored and doing nothing while sitting on his desk, just expecting the perfect opportunity to distract his mind or pull a prank, or even better, both of them.

"Of course, I cannot even imagine my life without him"

"Aww, that´s adorable, Hakuba-kun"

Kaito was still bored, and was immersed in his own nothingness, ignoring everything that surrounded him and never paying attention to others actions, still waiting for a distraction.

"I am delighted to hear that, Nakamori-chan, but Watson is not just part of my personal life as he also helps me with cases sometimes."

"Really? What a smart hawk, it is like an animal detective!"

Kaito was bored and yawned.

"It is a shame that I will not bring him to tonight´s heist, Watson is a bit tired"

"Yeah, I would like to see your hawk peck KID or something"

Now _that _caught Kaito´s attention, KID uh? That definitely concerns him; the magician smirked and decided to listen a bit more to the conversation…wait…peck KID? On which side are you Aoko!...Oh yes, she´s on the _other_ side.

"That´s not necessary, as I will catch that slippery thief tonight"

"Of course you will, you´re a gre…"

Aoko was interrupted by a muffled laugh and Hakuba frowned, both of them turned their heads and saw Kaito smiling and containing a laugh, the prankster couldn´t take it anymore and began to laugh loudly.

"You? Catch KID!" Kaito was laughing and clutching his stomach, suddenly, he straightened himself and took a serious face.

"NEVER", said Kaito with confidence and authority. Both Hakuba and Aoko were pissed, the British was looking madly at Kaito and Aoko was looking at the opposite side with her arms crossed and all flustered.

"KID-sama will never be captured by the likes of you"

"Oh, you will see Kuroba; I cannot wait to see you behind bars"

"I have told you a thousand times and I will tell you again so listen up: .."

"A thief and a liar, great combination, taking into account the fact that both of you are expert magicians, have a daring attitude to authority, are within the same age range, have similar, if not exact physical capacities and characteristics, have a high intellectual coefficient, are lame at skating, and, most importantly, have an innate and natural ability to enrage the Nakamoris", Hakuba made a pause and smirked, "I wouldn´t doubt if both of you have the same weakness to mops"

Aoko found this last sentence interesting, if both Kaito and Kaitou Kid had the same abilities and capacities, why not the same weaknesses? An idea began to form on her head.

_Later, at the heist…_

Every single officer in the Task Force had a worried face, and no, this time it wasn´t because of Kaitou Kid´s possible success, it was an event beyond that.

Nakamori Ginzo was holding a mop.

But not just holding it, he chose that cleaning tool as a weapon to beat Kid, and what worried them the most was the fact that Nakamori-keibu actually _thought_ that with the mop included KID would fail.

_Flashback_

"Otou-san, believe me, KID will fall mercilessly with this", Aoko was trying to convince her father into using a mop to capture KID.

"It´s just that it is plain weird Aoko"

"Otou-san, I chase Kaito with this every day and mostof the times he gets beaten, and you know that Kaitou Kid and that stupid friend of mine are_ really _alike", now _that_ sounded convincing.

"So, Aoko, what were you telling me?"

**End of flashback**

"Butter biscuits, why did not I think of that before?", Hakuba Saguru muttered to himself and slapped his own Brtitish and snobby face.

Soon, the heist began, the lights went out, some officers inhaled pink gas, and all of those weird things that happen when Kaitou Kid is around. The thief was holding the jewel and smiled to himself, but his smile broke and his poker face shredded into pieces when he was attacked with a mop, a wet and dirty mop. Nakamori-keibu soon began to chase the magician in a brutally manner, the KID Task force was amazed, for the first time the inspector was giving Kaitou Kid a real tough time.

Kaitou Kid was suffering, the inspector was awfully worse that Aoko! Soon, he would not be able to handle it anymore, it was as if the inspector gained superpowers when in contact with a mop; the hits were painful and the chase brutal, oh Kami someone save him!

Hakuba reconsidered his previous disappointment( you know, when he slapped himself) "_Even, if I had come up with that idea, I would never use a mop s the inspector does…mmm…the Nakamoris must be a special breed _**(WT? Hakuba!) **_I must run some genetic tests on them._

KID looked definitely sullen and beaten, the thief was wet and extremely exhausted, right now he is standing on the roof, more eager to run away from the cursed mop than anything else; also, right now The Kid Task Force officers are eating popcorn.

**Kid Task Force officer #1**: Hey, detective, want some (offers popcorn).

**Hakuba Saguru**: Of course, it would be a pleasure.

The thief quickly checks the gem on the moonlight and realizes that this is not the gem he is searching for, so… he quickly throws it away and jumps from the roof of the building trying to preserve his dear life.

_The next morning…_

Kuroba Kaito is on his classroom reading the newspaper, with a strangely beaten face and body; he can´t stop feeling useless when he sees Nakamori´s grinning face while holding a gem on the front page.

"Hey, Kaito, why are you so beaten up"

"Go away Aoko, go buy some heart printed panties or something"

"What did you say Kaito!" Kaito turns around and his eyes _almost_ got out of their sockets. Aoko was holding a mop.

"No, please I beg of you! Take that thing away from me!"

Now Kuroba Kaito has two major fears: fish and mops.

**Somehow, I expected more, it seems longer on the computer...**

**Nooooow...Omake time!**

**Kaito and Aoko are walking on the mall.**

**Kaito: Aoko, why are you holding a mop?**

**Aoko: You see, my "Kaito-is-going-to-say-something-rude" sensor is on, so I couldn´t help it.**

**Kaito: Aoko?**

**Aoko: Yes?**

**Kaito: You´re really dumb, aren´t you?**

**SLAP!**


	3. Marriage? To a mop?

**Helloooo there ladies and gentleman! I know is a tad bit late to publish a new chapter. This is a shortie, but in my opinion is amusing. I clearly remember when I made the draft, I was in biology class thinking about AIDS and that stuff and this whole idea came to me! **

**Ssooo, I hope you laugh a bit :D**

Hakuba Saguru felt slightly confused, sometimes Kuroba Kaito was the strangest of…creatures. Even though his odd behavior is common, Saguru never ceased to be amazed, besides, it´s a well known fact that since they met, the snobby brit introduced Kuroba in his own personal clinically insane category; and Hakuba _knows_ about craziness, he likes to wander around dressed as Sherlock Holmes with a hawk on his shoulder after all.

"Aoko, does your mop has AIDS?" ( ew, I don´t want to know…)

Of course Hakuba can´t stop listening to the conversation, and no, he´s not snooping; it just happens that he´s near the extravagant couple of friends listening intently to their conversation while wondering what will happen next. It´s just for academical purposes, really.

Besides, Kuroba Kaito proposing marriage to a mop? That´s priceless.

"Of course not you disgusting baka!" The snobby detective would be highly pleased if he could _just _watch the scene, but, he needs to be conspicuous and sneaky, so he has to stay abnormally quiet while pretending to read another Sherlock Holmes novel for the…well, he has read it like one thousand four hundred and twelve times, right?

"If shame is an issue, we will bear with it" Hakuba so wanted to look at the thief´s face "your mop and me of course" Hakuba just raised an eyebrow.

"Kaito, it´s not that", that idiot, as if marrying a mop wasn´t preposterous.

"If it´s the law I can manage", Hakuba snorted, of course he can manage…by breaking it. A criminal will remain a criminal, smitten with a mop or not.

"No, it´s not the law, but _that_, is an issue", Kaito grinned stupidly, as if realizing what was his best friend´s true issue, Hakuba couldn´t help it if he shuddered, _that _magician (criminal!) is really creepy.

"Don´t worry, I won´t tell anyone you´re my friend", the blonde detective thought to himself _" and please Kuroba, don´t tell a soul that you´re my acquaintance", _he threw another sneaky glance and saw Aoko boiling and creepy Kuroba _still _grinning stupidly

"It´s not that either, you stupid magician"

"Then why can´t I marry it?"

Is he really asking _that_? Hakuba turns to his left to take a glimpse and watches Akako…fuming? Sometimes Saguru suspects that the witch has a crush on Kuroba, but to actually perceive a mop, Aoko´s mop nonetheless, as a _threat. _Right now, he is considering adding some new..erm, members to his personal insane category.

"Well, you see, Mop…"

"It is because I´m still a student, right?" so now Kuroba is shrieking like a mad lady. Wonderful.

"No Kaito! And stop interrupting me!"

"You´re not my owner, Aoko!"

"Maybe not, but _I am_ Mop´s owner!"

What seemed a senseless joke turned out to be a steamy discussion. Deep inside of him (see? Hakuba _does_ have a heart), Hakuba Saguru expects that Nakamori Aoko gives her best friend tha permission to marry her mop. But, it´s hopeless, Aoko will never get rid of _her_ mop.

Kuroba took a few breaths and surprisingly calmed his stupid self. Well, he does want Aoko´s permission to marry _that _mop.

Really, the mop will be fine beating you senselessly Kuroba, there is no need to get your knickers in a twist, even though you don´t wear knickers.

"Really, Aoko, I´ll take care of your mop"

"Mop will be fine with or without you"

"Then, are you jealous?"

Now that made a bit of sense to Hakuba, If Nakamori-chan was jealous, then she would never hand out her precious mop.

"Why would I be?"

Hakuba threw another sneaky glance to the pair of teenagers, and saw how Kuroba looked at Nakamori-chan intently, trying to read her.

"Aoko, could it be…that you love me?"

" "

" "

Forget being sneaky and cautious; Hakuba Saguru was giving them his full attention. Nakamori-chan and Kuroba were speechless, looking at each other's eyes. It felt as if the whole world was revolving around them, so silent, yet so peaceful. Until…

"Bakaito! You can´t marry Mop because _he_ is male!

Hakuba was one of those polite people that never cursed or swear. Today, he stopped being one of those people.


End file.
